Put on your shades, coz i'll be dancin' in the flames
So apparently “Big Brother” is returning to Australian TV in 2012.
Whilst many are shaking their heads at its return & heralding the apocalypse of Australian TV, I quietly rejoice.
I think the End has already come, with the airwaves already over-loaded with unwatchable crap like Masterchef and The Renovators - “reality” TV that’s painfully ingenuine and polished more rigorously than a 15 year old boys’… uh… baseball bat. Over-edited, over-dramatised, over-blown.
If you ask me, Big Brother rearing its ugly head isn’t the coming of the apocalypse for Australian TV, we’re already in the post-apocalyptic world of smarmy, pudgy TV chefs yelling “get those tortes into the oven!” over music pulled straight from a Jerry Bruckheimer action flick.
We see staged “arguments” between young bogan couples who can’t decide whether they want the wall in their guest bedroom to be painted watermelon or paw-paw, making the acting on Home & Away suddenly seem a lot more appealing. A lot more genuine, even.
Our on-screen heroes have suddenly become ex-underwear-model lifesavers on Bondi Rescue or passively racist Border Security guards.
So the return of Big Brother is no big shock, nor a cause for alarm. Australian TV has already been ravaged by a mediocre armageddon of absolute unimaginative bullshit, so let’s just embrace Big Brother 2012 and all the apocalyptic potential that it holds.
If our airwaves are already bloated with this constructed, faux-reality trash, let us return to the purest, most raw form of trash: watching slightly inebriated twenty-somethings make absolute fucking fools of themselves.